I can see him in the couple’s eyes when they stare at each other. I can see him when a mother looks at her kids. I can see him when a newborn lays his eyes at his parents. I can see him in the nutrients that lie beneath and in the stars that align the sky. Every day, he gifts us beautiful flowers and scrumptious fruits. His presence is exigent, ’cause he is in the water, air, and light. He is in you. Everything is his manifestation. And I can never be ignorant of his love. Yes, God is my lover and I am forever his.
He was my childhood friend, we didn’t talk much but our eyes spoke a lot. We never got a chance to speak with our voices and we never got to exchange our names let alone our feelings for each other. I don’t know where he is at present or he doesn’t know where I’m. But I am sure the intense fervency that came to life when we were close still exists in the distance stifling us, no matter how far apart we are or nigh maybe, who knows. Let fate decide.
Life was busy yet I found time to stroll through the garden where we first met. It has been an year still I don’t know why I come back here. I am trying hard to move on but I can’t. I am trying hard to forget but I can’t. I am trying to live but I am not able to. So I decided to stop this all for once.
It was cold but the warm rays were comforting. The atmosphere in the park was similar to the first time I met her. It was like the nature was bidding me farewell for all the memories that we had made together. Only difference was she was not there beside me and the visit, the last one. Sitting on the bench that led to our rendezvous, I closed my eyes.
Beside me I saw her, her eyes, her smile, the first time she did that and I fell for her. From there on, I went through all our first times. The times alongside the riverbed where we first kissed, the first night when we touched each other’s souls. Our first fight. It all seemed like yesterday. I was waken by the wetness that I felt on my cheeks. Tears of joy, pain or poignance, it was difficult to understand.
But suddenly I was startled by the aged, grey haired man sitting next to me. 75 or so I thought. What bemused me was he was staring right into my eyes and what amazed me more was that his eyes had the same blue tinge just like mine.
“Are you okay? Do you need any help?”
“You asking me? This nature knows who needs help right now.”
“Pardon, I didn’t get what you said? Why were you staring at me?”.
“Let me tell you something, you miss someone, someone you loved, but she is not with you anymore and now you are grieving to get back together but you are not able to understand what you did wrong because you were totally honest with her, right”.
“Yes, but how..how?”
“Did you love her?”
“Did she love you?”
“Then why did she leave you?”
“I….I.. don’t know”.
“You know true lovers are separated only by death, and that is the real pain you can’t never forget. Believe me this is nothing compared to that. Let me tell you this, you may have really loved her but if she had loved you like the way you felt for her she would have never done this to you. Why are you sobbing for something that wasn’t true?.”.
“You are absolutely right. Thank you, really, I am feeling much better, I need to go now, have some unfinished business to take care of but may I ask you something, how come I didn’t see you when you came here?”
“You called me.”
“I called you but I don’t even know you?”.
“Oh, there is no one else in this world who knows me better than you do.”
“What are you saying?”
“You will understand everything but not now”.
“Ok one more thing,are you a mind reader, how did you know what I was thinking?”.
He smiled vaguely.
“No, I am not, experiences taught me, life made me and nature bought me”.
Not understanding what he meant by that I started walking back to the entrance when I realised I forgot something. Before turning around, I asked
“Sorry, What is your name?”.
“The name people call you”.
I turned around stunned. But the bench was empty.
Shocked I left the garden by leaving all the memories there. Lulled by the thought that I am yet to find my true love…