Hush! It’s Secret..

Dear Diary,

I hope you are well my dear friend. If you may ask the same, I am feeling utmost pleasure at present too. Thinking about whom I should say about what I have felt, there is no one more perfect than you. It’s about my secret admirer. Yes, there is something about him I can’t quite put my hand on but I am pretty sure he had fallen hard for me. On different occasions, he had proven his feelings for me obscuring his actions from others but it has caught my eyes recently. Putting together the pieces of the puzzle, there is no other answer more suitable than what I would say ‘Love’. Heard of the fact that people go miles for Love and turns out it is in fact the truth.

Oh! I forgot to tell you, my school pals decided on a soiree, yes, I am enthralled about meeting them. Enthused about sharing with them the stories about the past years we were separated. But one thing that matters to me is him again. I am sure if this rendezvous we are planning comes into his knowledge, through thick and thin he would try to bring his presence there, for he can have a sight of me. When we were all together in the past, I remember the smile, stare and glances he showered secretly at me, hidden from others.
Only if he knew.

He just couldn’t keep his eyes off me I would say though normally these kinds of doings cause vexation but the truth is I have grown to like the way he looks at me, the warmth of his affection could be felt just from his stare.And I am perplexed by the muse about the wonders his mere touch or his lips could do.

The thought of him excites me yet petrifies me because I still can’t accept the one fact Diary, the one fact that I have fallen for him too.

My Strength & Weakness

You are my weakness, my love.


We dwell in different bodies.


And our separation petrifies me.


Aches my heart when you are in pain.


Tearing apart making me insane.


Yet I am sane when you’re nigh.


As long as you’re safe, I feel fine.


Our closeness pampers me.


Because my soul resides in you,


yours in mine.


And I realize my strength is you,


my love.

Advice to Self

Life was busy yet I found time to stroll through the garden where we first met. It has been an year still I don’t know why I come back here. I am trying hard to move on but I can’t. I am trying hard to forget but I can’t. I am trying to live but I am not able to. So I decided to stop this all for once.

          It was cold but the warm rays were comforting. The atmosphere in the park was similar to the first  time I met her. It was like the nature was bidding me farewell for all the memories that we had made together. Only difference was she was not there beside me and the visit, the last  one.
Sitting on the bench that led to our rendezvous, I closed my eyes.

          Beside me I saw her, her eyes, her smile, the first time she did that and I fell for her. From there on, I went through all our first times. The times alongside the riverbed where we first kissed, the first night
when we touched each other’s souls. Our first fight. It all seemed like yesterday. I was waken by the wetness that I felt on my cheeks. Tears of joy, pain or poignance, it was difficult to understand.
  
             But suddenly I was startled by the aged, grey haired man sitting next to me. 75 or so I thought. What bemused me was he was staring right into my eyes and what amazed me more was that his eyes had the same blue tinge just like mine.

“Are you okay? Do you need any help?”


“You asking me? This nature knows who needs help right now.”


“Pardon, I didn’t get what you said? Why were you staring at me?”.

“Let me tell you something, you miss someone, someone you loved, but she is not with you anymore and now you are grieving to get back together but you are not able to understand what you did wrong because you were totally honest with her, right”.
               
“Yes, but how..how?”

“Did you love her?”

“Yes”

“Did she love you?”

“Yes”

“Then why did she leave you?”

“I….I.. don’t know”.

“You know true lovers are separated only by death, and that is the real pain you can’t never forget. Believe me this is nothing compared to that. Let me tell you this, you may have really loved her but if she had loved you like the way you felt for her she would have never done this to you. Why are you sobbing for something that wasn’t true?.”.

“You are absolutely right. Thank you, really, I am feeling much better, I need to go now, have  some unfinished business to take care of but may I ask you something, how come I didn’t see you when you came here?”

“You called me.”

“I called you but I don’t even know you?”.

“Oh, there is no one else in this world who knows me better than you do.”

“What are you saying?”

“You will understand everything but not now”.

“Ok one more thing,are you a mind reader, how did you know what I was thinking?”.

He smiled vaguely.

“No, I am not, experiences taught me, life made me and nature bought me”.

Not understanding what he meant by that I started walking back to the entrance when I realised I forgot something. Before turning around, I asked

“Sorry, What is your name?”.

“The name people call you”.

I turned around stunned.
But the bench was empty.

Shocked I left the garden by leaving all the memories there. Lulled by the thought that I am yet to find my true love…