I hope you are well my dear friend. If you may ask the same, I am feeling utmost pleasure at present too. Thinking about whom I should say about what I have felt, there is no one more perfect than you. It’s about my secret admirer. Yes, there is something about him I can’t quite put my hand on but I am pretty sure he had fallen hard for me. On different occasions, he had proven his feelings for me obscuring his actions from others but it has caught my eyes recently. Putting together the pieces of the puzzle, there is no other answer more suitable than what I would say ‘Love’. Heard of the fact that people go miles for Love and turns out it is in fact the truth.
Oh! I forgot to tell you, my school pals decided on a soiree, yes, I am enthralled about meeting them. Enthused about sharing with them the stories about the past years we were separated. But one thing that matters to me is him again. I am sure if this rendezvous we are planning comes into his knowledge, through thick and thin he would try to bring his presence there, for he can have a sight of me. When we were all together in the past, I remember the smile, stare and glances he showered secretly at me, hidden from others. Only if he knew.
He just couldn’t keep his eyes off me I would say though normally these kinds of doings cause vexation but the truth is I have grown to like the way he looks at me, the warmth of his affection could be felt just from his stare.And I am perplexed by the muse about the wonders his mere touch or his lips could do.
The thought of him excites me yet petrifies me because I still can’t accept the one fact Diary, the one fact that I have fallen for him too.
“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”
Someone was yelling his throat out. My head was pounding hard from inside. I guess it took a minute or two to come back to my senses. It was so difficult for my eyes to adjust to the light. Every cell of my body was screaming in agony. Things started to exacerbate. It took me a while to figure out what was happening but it was too late. My eyes started to see things or I guess it felt more like a death wish. Lying down the sky was red with blood. Inside the metro, the light was flickering and blurriness covered my eyes.
The yellow fingers of the sun brushed my hair . I could hear the soft bristle of leaves when cold air caressed them. The birds were chirping beautiful tunes and the waves kept kissing the shore. Crabs slowly paced enjoying the pure unmitigated beauty. I turned my face and saw a young girl with her blond hair tied to a pony jingling sideways, smiling. Her nice little sweet voice and her shrieking laughter started ringing inside my ears. I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I tried hard. But my whole body ached. Along with her, I saw a lady beautiful as the young girl grabbed and tickled her and she said something to the young girl, pointing at me. She sidled towards me with both her arms apart saying something, this time I tried harder, even though my body restricted me I didn’t care. It was really difficult, that tears streamed from my eyes. Tears of happiness shadowed by pain. And I heard two words”Pa..Pa, I love you”. My heart was pounding harder and I felt like puking. Tears strolled down my cheeks. For a moment I felt satiated. She looked so beautiful and I wanted to grab her with both my arms hug her to the fullest and say those beautiful words to her. I tried to move my lips slowly but they were wet with blood and numb. I stammered and my voice quavered to say “I ….lo…love….u.too,ho…ney”. But it was too late. Fell into an unprecedented peace and it never came out.
After 20 years later on 22/ 7/2014 a pulchritudinous young lady stood in front of the tomb looking at it bereaved with a palpable feeling of poignance. She stood for a while with no tears and left by placing a bouquet and a smile appeared on her face.
The tomb said: In loving memory of Jacob Smith Died on 22/7/1994 Aged 33 years A breeze brushed past her and she heard ‘I love you, honey’. Nature smiled. At that moment a regrettable story found its way out. And the clouds cried. A rain of love and happiness.
He was my childhood friend, we didn’t talk much but our eyes spoke a lot. We never got a chance to speak with our voices and we never got to exchange our names let alone our feelings for each other. I don’t know where he is at present or he doesn’t know where I’m. But I am sure the intense fervency that came to life when we were close still exists in the distance stifling us, no matter how far apart we are or nigh maybe, who knows. Let fate decide.
“If you are reading this, this is my answer and I regret not saying it you, I love you, it has always been and always will be ” she wrote with the hope that he will read for she knew she didn’t have much time left.