Adios

“I can’t wait anymore”, she said.

“Wait for what?”, he asked

“For you to fall in love with me”, she replied.

Loving Myself

Loneliness was something everyone gifted me.

The gift which I dreaded the most.

I used to lament a lot.

But it turns out it is a gift not everyone can get.

I discern now it is the path to silence.

And silence is the language of the Souls.

I am ecstatic realising myself after all.

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A Song By Hearts


“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”

Someone was yelling his throat out. My head was pounding hard from inside. I guess it took a minute or two to come back to my senses. It was so difficult for my eyes to adjust to the light. Every cell of my body was screaming in agony. Things started to exacerbate. It took me a while to figure out what was happening but it was too late. My eyes started to see things or I guess it felt more like a death wish. Lying down the sky was red with blood. Inside the metro, the light was flickering and blurriness covered my eyes.

    The yellow fingers of the sun brushed my hair . I could hear the soft bristle of leaves when cold air caressed them. The birds were chirping beautiful tunes and the waves kept kissing the shore. Crabs slowly paced enjoying the pure unmitigated beauty. I turned my face and saw a young girl with her blond hair tied to a pony jingling sideways, smiling. Her nice little sweet voice and her shrieking laughter started ringing inside my ears. I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I tried hard.
But my whole body ached. Along with her, I saw a lady beautiful as the young girl grabbed and tickled her and she said something to the young girl, pointing at me.
She sidled towards me with both her arms apart saying something, this time I tried harder, even though my body restricted me I didn’t care. It was really difficult, that tears streamed from my eyes. Tears of happiness shadowed by pain. And I heard two words”Pa..Pa, I love you”. My heart was pounding harder and I felt like puking. Tears strolled down my cheeks. For a moment I felt satiated. She looked so beautiful and I wanted to grab her with both my arms hug her to the fullest and say those beautiful words to her. I tried to move my lips slowly but they were wet with blood
and numb. I stammered and my voice quavered to say “I ….lo…love….u.too,ho…ney”.
But it was too late.
Fell into an unprecedented peace and it never came out.

After 20 years later on 22/ 7/2014
a pulchritudinous young lady stood in
front of the tomb looking at it bereaved with a palpable feeling of poignance.
She stood for a while with no tears and left by placing a bouquet and a smile appeared on her face.

The tomb said:
In loving memory of
Jacob Smith
Died on 22/7/1994
Aged 33 years
A breeze brushed past her and she heard
‘I love you, honey’.
Nature smiled.
At that moment a regrettable  story
found its way out. And the clouds cried.
A rain of love and happiness.

L.O.V.E

It took a moment to say ‘I love you’ but it took a lifetime to realise what true love was.

Silent Killer

‘Expectations’ brought me a friend ‘Joy’, but his enemy, ‘Depression’, stalked me till I shedded tears whose girlfriend, ‘Pain’, slowly wrecked me until I was no more.

Untold Love Tale

He was my childhood friend, we didn’t talk much but our eyes spoke a lot. We never got a chance to speak with our voices and we never got to exchange our names let alone our feelings for each other. I don’t know where he is at present or he doesn’t know where I’m. But I am sure the intense fervency that came to life when we were close still exists in the distance stifling us, no matter how far apart we are or nigh maybe, who knows. Let fate decide.

God’s Gift

She, in her life, cried many times but the one time, excruciating pain devoured her, tears and sweat plummeted hard, her cries reflected the intense agony. Her obscure screams were suffocated by fear and enthusiasm but when the sudden shrills of feeble spasmodic weeps accompanied her screams, her shrieks slowly faded.

The tears that began their journey from her exhausted eyes met the lips that beamed with ecstasy. Within seconds she had forsaken all she had gone through because she was overwhelmed by the gain of being a mother rather than the pain of becoming a mother.

That is the one time in every women’s life when tears of cry and happiness collide.

“Innocence”

In the restaurant,

he stared at me,


leisurely his eyes glowed at my lips.

He slowly swayed towards me
swallowing and craving
under his excitement.


I could see the nervousness in
his eyes, he asked

“Will ya gi me the…ta candy?”,
seeing me smile, the toddler
screamed back to his mum,
“I wan..na. cany, mummy.”,
his lisp just made my day.

Wise

“The age is just a number, your real age is defined by the number of mistakes you make and how much you have learnt from it, how much you have grown, for that I am still young, lad, so think before you call me grandpa”- he laughed hysterically yet fervidly at the newspaper boy.

He was too wise to be a ‘madman’, that was what the people called.

Hitched to Love


“Grandpa, how many times have you fallen in love?”


“A number of times you can’t even count for kid.”


“Really! and did grandma knew about this?.”

The boy was left without an answer but a simper.


‘Yes ’cause she was the only one I have fallen for’, he pondered while glowing at her picture.

Feelings….

The times the flower bloomed

its aroma remained unrecognisable,

For she never knew the essence of true love

After years when she searched for the one,


it was long gone and it became a symbolism of lost love.

And she regretted when she realised that she was actually and still is in love with him.

She waited for the never ending unrequited love to be answered,

She waited in hopes to hear the answer from him….

Advice to Self

Life was busy yet I found time to stroll through the garden where we first met. It has been an year still I don’t know why I come back here. I am trying hard to move on but I can’t. I am trying hard to forget but I can’t. I am trying to live but I am not able to. So I decided to stop this all for once.

          It was cold but the warm rays were comforting. The atmosphere in the park was similar to the first  time I met her. It was like the nature was bidding me farewell for all the memories that we had made together. Only difference was she was not there beside me and the visit, the last  one.
Sitting on the bench that led to our rendezvous, I closed my eyes.

          Beside me I saw her, her eyes, her smile, the first time she did that and I fell for her. From there on, I went through all our first times. The times alongside the riverbed where we first kissed, the first night
when we touched each other’s souls. Our first fight. It all seemed like yesterday. I was waken by the wetness that I felt on my cheeks. Tears of joy, pain or poignance, it was difficult to understand.
  
             But suddenly I was startled by the aged, grey haired man sitting next to me. 75 or so I thought. What bemused me was he was staring right into my eyes and what amazed me more was that his eyes had the same blue tinge just like mine.

“Are you okay? Do you need any help?”


“You asking me? This nature knows who needs help right now.”


“Pardon, I didn’t get what you said? Why were you staring at me?”.

“Let me tell you something, you miss someone, someone you loved, but she is not with you anymore and now you are grieving to get back together but you are not able to understand what you did wrong because you were totally honest with her, right”.
               
“Yes, but how..how?”

“Did you love her?”

“Yes”

“Did she love you?”

“Yes”

“Then why did she leave you?”

“I….I.. don’t know”.

“You know true lovers are separated only by death, and that is the real pain you can’t never forget. Believe me this is nothing compared to that. Let me tell you this, you may have really loved her but if she had loved you like the way you felt for her she would have never done this to you. Why are you sobbing for something that wasn’t true?.”.

“You are absolutely right. Thank you, really, I am feeling much better, I need to go now, have  some unfinished business to take care of but may I ask you something, how come I didn’t see you when you came here?”

“You called me.”

“I called you but I don’t even know you?”.

“Oh, there is no one else in this world who knows me better than you do.”

“What are you saying?”

“You will understand everything but not now”.

“Ok one more thing,are you a mind reader, how did you know what I was thinking?”.

He smiled vaguely.

“No, I am not, experiences taught me, life made me and nature bought me”.

Not understanding what he meant by that I started walking back to the entrance when I realised I forgot something. Before turning around, I asked

“Sorry, What is your name?”.

“The name people call you”.

I turned around stunned.
But the bench was empty.

Shocked I left the garden by leaving all the memories there. Lulled by the thought that I am yet to find my true love…