“When I saw you with her, my heart felt heavy, that night I bawled my eyes out, the tears were rampant. Never thought about love but to my surprise, that was the moment I realized I was in love .”
She chuckled and said, “No one in this world would have realized love and had broken heart together like I did”.
Staring into his eyes, she added “Love is the strongest emotion, it can push you into the depths of despair or it can lead you to the purest of blissfulness, the former happens if you search it from outside, And I have been through it. The latter is what I have learned lately. You are the reason for it. Hope you are happy with her.”
“I don’t know what to say, I am speechless “, he sat numb.
“You don’t have to say anything, you already showed me, thank you because now I have my closure”.
I hope you are well my dear friend. If you may ask the same, I am feeling utmost pleasure at present too. Thinking about whom I should say about what I have felt, there is no one more perfect than you. It’s about my secret admirer. Yes, there is something about him I can’t quite put my hand on but I am pretty sure he had fallen hard for me. On different occasions, he had proven his feelings for me obscuring his actions from others but it has caught my eyes recently. Putting together the pieces of the puzzle, there is no other answer more suitable than what I would say ‘Love’. Heard of the fact that people go miles for Love and turns out it is in fact the truth.
Oh! I forgot to tell you, my school pals decided on a soiree, yes, I am enthralled about meeting them. Enthused about sharing with them the stories about the past years we were separated. But one thing that matters to me is him again. I am sure if this rendezvous we are planning comes into his knowledge, through thick and thin he would try to bring his presence there, for he can have a sight of me. When we were all together in the past, I remember the smile, stare and glances he showered secretly at me, hidden from others. Only if he knew.
He just couldn’t keep his eyes off me I would say though normally these kinds of doings cause vexation but the truth is I have grown to like the way he looks at me, the warmth of his affection could be felt just from his stare.And I am perplexed by the muse about the wonders his mere touch or his lips could do.
The thought of him excites me yet petrifies me because I still can’t accept the one fact Diary, the one fact that I have fallen for him too.
Standing in the place where the alley once stood, he reminisced their first kiss. “I miss you”, he etched on a brick in the debris. It’s been 8 years. One night had changed his life. Shattered everything. But the debris remained. He threw the rock and walked away in grief. The rock fell near something that shimmered in the scorching sun. It was a promise ring.
“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”
Someone was yelling his throat out. My head was pounding hard from inside. I guess it took a minute or two to come back to my senses. It was so difficult for my eyes to adjust to the light. Every cell of my body was screaming in agony. Things started to exacerbate. It took me a while to figure out what was happening but it was too late. My eyes started to see things or I guess it felt more like a death wish. Lying down the sky was red with blood. Inside the metro, the light was flickering and blurriness covered my eyes.
The yellow fingers of the sun brushed my hair . I could hear the soft bristle of leaves when cold air caressed them. The birds were chirping beautiful tunes and the waves kept kissing the shore. Crabs slowly paced enjoying the pure unmitigated beauty. I turned my face and saw a young girl with her blond hair tied to a pony jingling sideways, smiling. Her nice little sweet voice and her shrieking laughter started ringing inside my ears. I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I tried hard. But my whole body ached. Along with her, I saw a lady beautiful as the young girl grabbed and tickled her and she said something to the young girl, pointing at me. She sidled towards me with both her arms apart saying something, this time I tried harder, even though my body restricted me I didn’t care. It was really difficult, that tears streamed from my eyes. Tears of happiness shadowed by pain. And I heard two words”Pa..Pa, I love you”. My heart was pounding harder and I felt like puking. Tears strolled down my cheeks. For a moment I felt satiated. She looked so beautiful and I wanted to grab her with both my arms hug her to the fullest and say those beautiful words to her. I tried to move my lips slowly but they were wet with blood and numb. I stammered and my voice quavered to say “I ….lo…love….u.too,ho…ney”. But it was too late. Fell into an unprecedented peace and it never came out.
After 20 years later on 22/ 7/2014 a pulchritudinous young lady stood in front of the tomb looking at it bereaved with a palpable feeling of poignance. She stood for a while with no tears and left by placing a bouquet and a smile appeared on her face.
The tomb said: In loving memory of Jacob Smith Died on 22/7/1994 Aged 33 years A breeze brushed past her and she heard ‘I love you, honey’. Nature smiled. At that moment a regrettable story found its way out. And the clouds cried. A rain of love and happiness.
I started to gradually fade from the memories of my loved ones who had accompanied me from birth to death,
strangers never knew of my existence and my kith and kin began to forget about the fact I even existed once.
I was completely erased from this world of unending miseries the moment the ones who gave me birth took their leave just like me excluding the fact that I had an unexpected early departure.
Before it all gets evanesced, for the one last time, as I glance back at the journey of my life through the memories I had made there, it was unforgettable and excruciating, yet quite beautiful and divine.
“I have learned many lessons, I hope to learn more”, says my soul, as it embarks on the journeys of life with many disguises.